It’s a disturbing thing when you realize you’re a fraud.
In your mind, you’re progressive and thoughtful. Yet your outward actions and words don’t match the idealistic view you have of yourself.
You talk about being radically transparent with yourself, but you’re opaque as can be.
You can’t even write about this stuff without pretending it’s about someone else.
I can see it so clearly now.
When you write, you’re vulnerable and that’s great and everything. But you’ve got to follow through on the lessons learned in real life. Your writing mustn’t be a façade that hides the actual truth behind it.
Your wife is struggling with her mental health and you’re more focused on your career. Then when she talks about the misalignment, you make it about yourself and your problems. You’ve written about the importance of validating her feelings first, even if you think she’s wrong. And yet, just the other night, you felt your defenses rising up—the familiar feeling of your ego taking over and trying to protect you—before she even told you what she wanted to talk about. When she eventually did, your mind reeled and you tried to justify your actions instead of making her feel heard.
You were supposed to talk about the ball, but you dropped it.
When you awake in the morning, you’re more apt to grab your phone and get caught up with work first, rather than check-in with your family. You cut it close and leave the house just in time to make your first meeting, instead of making sure you have enough time to sit with your daughter and her infectious smile. You can’t take those moments for granted.
You only have so much time on this earth. You should spend it with the people you love and on the work that matters to you.
Yes, your work matters, to a certain extent. But it’s not the end-all, be-all. Your family is always number one, no matter what. It shouldn’t even be a question.
I know you have ambitious goals. I know part of your focus on work is to be able to provide for your family—to give them the best life possible without financial stress. I know you’re as close to ikigai as you’ve been in a long, long time.
It’s all very exciting, I know.
There must be a balance, though.
It’s okay that you strayed from the path. It’s part of life. And life hasn’t exactly been easy for you these past few years. Wildfires, a traumatic birth, the ongoing challenges of raising a daughter with cerebral palsy, and a pandemic with no end in sight. Not to mention, a career filled with too many almosts. It’s kind of a lot to deal with.
Now you’re back on track. Sometimes you’ve got to veer off course to realize why the path is so important. You’ll stray again, no doubt. The key is to recognize when you do and get back to where you need to be as quickly as you can. This is another lesson learned. One you’ll relearn again in the future.
I’m sorry I called you a fraud. That was a lie. I had to get your attention somehow. Think of it as your own personal clickbait. I would promise not to do it again.
But that would be a lie too.
Invisible College Update
Invisible College, the web3 learning community I’m working with, is launching our NFT collection soon!
The holders of our Decentralien NFTs (pictured above) will get lifetime access to the community, plus all the courses and educational programming we build in the coming months and years. And another plus, holders will basically be part owners in the school and can help shape what it looks like in the future.
If you’re interested in getting into our pre-sale, or if you’re just curious to learn more about the community, hop into our Discord and make sure to tag and say hi to me in the intros channel.
Thanks for reading. You’re the best. I truly appreciate it.
If you liked this piece, could you please let me know by clicking on the heart button below?
So good. Great writing, I appreciate your vulnerability. I definitely relate!
This was super well written Lyle, thanks for sharing.. Can definitely relate to this.