20 Comments

I relate to this so much, Lyle! Thanks for voicing what so many of us feel.

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Thanks, Alicia! I hope you’re well. I want to hear an update about your podcast project sometime.

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Honest and insightful. It's reassuring and comforting to hear someone else's self-talk and find similarities with my own. Thanks Lyle!

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Thanks for checking it out, Cole!

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Completely relate to this right now. I too am in the process of Marie Kondo-ing my internet life. So much of it I just don’t need anymore.

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“Marie Kondo-ing” your internet life. I love that!

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I feel this too. I’m in way too many discord chats and other things, not to mention the dozens of newsletters I follow. I think I’m going to cull both lists shortly. But I’m finding I really enjoy the Substack writer community and I’m learning a lot from folks like you, so some things will stay. 😊

I also want to figure out how to get in on some NFTs. I think the whole thing is ridiculous, but I could use some ridiculous cash.

One thing I have discovered with all the things that I do is that the more time I spend on Discord or reading newsletters, the less meaningful Facebook becomes and that makes me super happy, Because I’m really hating it over there. I mean, I love staying in touch with my friends, but the stupid algorithm buries most of their content, and just shows me ads, sponsored content, or content from companies in about 2/3 of my feed. There’s little value there.

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I’m so with you on FB. It feels like going back in time when I go there. I have a couple of groups I like to check in on, but otherwise I haven’t scrolled through the feed much in awhile.

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I am currently riding the "too many projects" train. I am trying to decide which ones to cut. I can't even consider starting something with a huge learning curve like NFT and crypto. Even if I miss the gold rush.

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I hear that, Mark. I would probably be right there with you if it weren’t for some supportive friends and former colleagues who have been generous with answering my dumb questions.

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#fu*kFOMO #doowhatchalike

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#fu*kyeah

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I have a long sad story to share about crypto and NFTs as well. What a fuckshow.

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I think too many of us do after the last year. I was deep into it for my work. The experience taught me a lot, not only about greed and markets and human faults run amok, but also about myself and what's important to me.

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This piece made me think of a conversation I heard between two of my favorite authors, Viet Thanh Nguyen and Walter Mosley. At one point, Nguyen asked Mosley how many books he had written. Mosley said he didn't know. That kind of blew Nguyen away because although he had won the Pulitzer and the Edgar, among other awards, for The Sympathizer, he was kind of stunned by how prolific Mosley was. So Nguyen, who was the younger of the two by two decades, asked Mosley how he managed to put out so many books. Mosley said all he really did was write and that he didn't do any social media. Nguyen, who is is very active on Twitter, grasped the point immediately. Mosley was able to push aside the distractions. But that's when the age difference really showed in the conversation. What seemed obvious and easy to Mosley (avoid social media, avoid distractions, mitigate FOMO), seemed inconceivable to Nguyen. Watching that talk left me with a melancholy feeling because I wondered if Nguyen's fans might've gotten to read more books from him if he had begun writing around the time Mosley began his career? No way to answer that, of course, but the question forced me to take a look at my own habits. I don't love social media, but I'm not sure writers of this era can avoid it either. Sort of a necessary evil, I guess. But when I checked the usage stats on my phone and compared them to the time stats in my word processor I didn't like what I saw. I quit Facebook (actually deleted my account, then came back about a year later), and I've tried to limit social media, although my results have been mixed. One thing that's really helped, however, is that by pulling away some distractions it really forced me articulate my priorities. I still get distracted, still use social media way too much, still succumb to FOMO, but when I do I hear a little voice in my head reminding me about my priorities, and that usually gets me back on course. Anyway, sorry for rambling here. This was a really great piece, Lyle. Thank you for sharing it!

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Thank you for the thoughtful comment (and for sharing this piece on Twitter!).

I feel this so much. I sometimes wish I would’ve focused on writing decades ago because if you were one of the authors that made it through the gatekeepers and found some measure of success, then you could get away without social media these days. But now, the market is so much different.

All that being said, I’ve enjoyed Twitter much more lately since I’ve made it more about interacting with friends instead of trying to go viral or whatever. Still, it’s a balance and I’m sure I would be similarly shocked to see those usage numbers 😬

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I've also enjoyed Twitter more in the past few months. I just wish there was a way to hide the trending topics module. I think there's something to your point about making it more about friends, or whatever you like. Basically, you get out what you put in. That's true of anything in life, but where I struggle with social media, and to be specific, ad-supported social media, is that it's very hard to make a conscious decision about what you're putting in and harder still to hold that line over time. There is just too much algorithmic mayhem that goes into the attention economy.

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100% agree. It definitely takes discipline. And the algorithms are constantly trying to hijack our discipline.

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I hate FOMO so much. Thanks for writing this relatable piece!

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Thanks for spending some time with my words, Rufat! I hope they helped in some small way.

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