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Elle Griffin's avatar

This is a fascinating subject because I often try to steer conversation toward a more meaningful place, only to find that few want to go there. There are so many who want to keep things at the surface, and I find it challenging to connect with people there. I won’t remember them at all if we haven’t at least gotten to emotional first base lol.

And the note about your dad staying at the surface really struck me. With family, I’m often asking myself “are they just not opening up to me?” or “are they really only interested in the weather?” Which leads me to wonder whether I should stop trying to learn more about them and their ideas about the world, and just talk about the weather?

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Tom Schmidt's avatar

This piece resonates with me on an incredibly deep level, especially the part about small talk being the gauge for the trajectory of a convo. There’s just so much meaty information in that small talk and I think people too often overlook the importance of what could be considered an unimportant component of human interaction. I too use words like “gnarly” and “stoked” and, as a psychologist, I’ve found this casual vernacular to be very disarming to others…it somehow communicates “safety” in a weird way that I haven’t figured out yet but it works and that’s pretty rad! Love your writing Lyle! Miss you amigo!

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