Really amazing details in those memories (I know I'm echoing Rick). I think that what you describe is true for a lot of Americans who live in places with little intact forest or public land. There's nothing about a particular house (unless it's truly unusual) that draws us back, but 100-acre farms and national forests have that power.
I'm also struck by how different this essay might have been if you'd written it right after your divorce? My conclusions would have been the same as yours just two years ago. In fact, that's why I moved to Pennsylvania to begin with: a willingness to redefine home according to my immediate household.
Really love how you use the malleable house -- the potential to reshape the house to fit the people and their particular needs -- as a concrete illustration of your theme!
Thank you so much, Josh! Very high praise coming from you.
When I got divorced, I didn’t even contemplate moving, despite living in an area that we moved to because some of her family lived nearby. It was also somewhat closer to my family (only 2 hours away versus 4.5 previously).
Part of the reason was because I was considering moving to San Francisco with a good friend of mine but that plan got disrupted when he got in a bad cycling accident.
Beautiful. And I so know some of the feelings. Reach out if I can ever be of support regarding the CP stuff. I remember so much of what you describe from back when Andrew was young. I’m here if it helps, Lyle.
I got here via Bowen that talked about you on his substack. This post of yours really resonated with me guess because we've had similar experiences when my eldest daughter nearly died in a horrific car accident probably due to an unexpected epilepsy seizure.
She had major injuries, basically had to learn everything again. We had to nurse her back to life, noting she was in her late thirties, here in our own ordinary home. This included renting fancy, motorised hospital bed that "moved" with her broken body, ah basically everything that was necessary for her resurrection, so to speak!
So I'm a rookie, totally new here in substack and has a true story to tell. I've been sharing it for a couple of years with other buddies in private. We're a sober collective where the power of love has healed many.
Now I want to share it with the world cause the power of a collective, community, connection is totally undervalued in this egoistic, liquid modernity era. I want to build such a collective here on substack and work with others that might feel the same way or at least support what we are trying to do.
Thank you for the thoughtful comment and for sharing a bit of your story with your daughter. I wholeheartedly agree with your sentiment towards writing and sharing. Keep going!
Nice Lyle you're exactly right about the experiences and people we share life with. It's nice to establish a home base where we feel comfortable. Glad to hear you're getting settled in.
This little storytelling detail is so vivid. "I see our next-door neighbor’s faded yellow car shaking and hear the squeaking of its shocks." Loved the childhood snapshots. And re home, in addition to all that you've described there are the renovations to our habits, routines, identity that we make over time to make more room for our loved one's in our heart.
Really amazing details in those memories (I know I'm echoing Rick). I think that what you describe is true for a lot of Americans who live in places with little intact forest or public land. There's nothing about a particular house (unless it's truly unusual) that draws us back, but 100-acre farms and national forests have that power.
I'm also struck by how different this essay might have been if you'd written it right after your divorce? My conclusions would have been the same as yours just two years ago. In fact, that's why I moved to Pennsylvania to begin with: a willingness to redefine home according to my immediate household.
Really love how you use the malleable house -- the potential to reshape the house to fit the people and their particular needs -- as a concrete illustration of your theme!
Thank you so much, Josh! Very high praise coming from you.
When I got divorced, I didn’t even contemplate moving, despite living in an area that we moved to because some of her family lived nearby. It was also somewhat closer to my family (only 2 hours away versus 4.5 previously).
Part of the reason was because I was considering moving to San Francisco with a good friend of mine but that plan got disrupted when he got in a bad cycling accident.
I wrote about that period of my life in this piece if you’re curious to check it out: https://www.lyle.blog/p/things-come-in-ones
Beautiful. And I so know some of the feelings. Reach out if I can ever be of support regarding the CP stuff. I remember so much of what you describe from back when Andrew was young. I’m here if it helps, Lyle.
Thank you for always being so generous, Kris
Hi Lyle 👋
I got here via Bowen that talked about you on his substack. This post of yours really resonated with me guess because we've had similar experiences when my eldest daughter nearly died in a horrific car accident probably due to an unexpected epilepsy seizure.
She had major injuries, basically had to learn everything again. We had to nurse her back to life, noting she was in her late thirties, here in our own ordinary home. This included renting fancy, motorised hospital bed that "moved" with her broken body, ah basically everything that was necessary for her resurrection, so to speak!
So I'm a rookie, totally new here in substack and has a true story to tell. I've been sharing it for a couple of years with other buddies in private. We're a sober collective where the power of love has healed many.
Now I want to share it with the world cause the power of a collective, community, connection is totally undervalued in this egoistic, liquid modernity era. I want to build such a collective here on substack and work with others that might feel the same way or at least support what we are trying to do.
Love never fails 🌾
https://open.substack.com/pub/soberhorseman/p/i-am-sober?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=5g8wzg
Thank you for the thoughtful comment and for sharing a bit of your story with your daughter. I wholeheartedly agree with your sentiment towards writing and sharing. Keep going!
Nice Lyle you're exactly right about the experiences and people we share life with. It's nice to establish a home base where we feel comfortable. Glad to hear you're getting settled in.
Thanks, Chandler!
This little storytelling detail is so vivid. "I see our next-door neighbor’s faded yellow car shaking and hear the squeaking of its shocks." Loved the childhood snapshots. And re home, in addition to all that you've described there are the renovations to our habits, routines, identity that we make over time to make more room for our loved one's in our heart.
I love how you phrased that, Rick. There’s so much beautiful and loving movement within a household