Thanks for sharing my note, and of course, for allowing yourself to be vulnerable. I know how hard it can be to open up in front of a stranger like that. I wish you well, Lyle.
Lyle! Thank you SO MUCH for the courage to be honest (with allllll of us)! Writing, talking, feeling the struggle... It’s a mixed approach therapy and it’s absolutely ok to change our minds about what works and when. I’ve got this coach, not even a licensed therapist, who I’ve cried to in every single session, and it’s made a world of difference to just be honest with someone. (Interestingly enough, I’m usually frazzled, logging on from some other meetings with an empty stomach). She’s a somatic coach, which is why I’ve been so thrilled with the Foster experience. It sucks that we need permission to take a breath, but at least someone is encouraging us! Keep writing, keep talking, keep surrounding yourself with amazing humans like your awesome stepdaughter!!
Man, this is gold! Moving from the "I feel like" to the "I feel" mindset is so crucial - getting into our body and integrating what we think & feel. As a therapist, I love seeing people write things like this. It's the work outside of the work. Thank you for your vulnerability.
Thanks, Blake! It's been a journey, for sure. And it's never over. I was telling someone the other day that I think me feeling the anxiety more and how it manifests in my body is actually a good sign that the work I'm doing is actually working.
Thanks for the honesty. I love it. Vulnerability is crucial. It all sounds very human. We all do things like this sometimes. We want to be honest but we also want people to like us. It’s a tricky game to play for writers, who’re always trying to walk that very delicate line between fact and fiction, truth and lie, honesty and concealment.
love this share. and the wisdom that comes from such “intense” moments.
My therapist lets me bring my partner into our sessions every once in a while and those are, by far, the most revealing sessions for me. 😂 Nothing like getting in a fight in front of your therapist so that she sees all of your triggers, reactions, and emotional patterns in real time. lol
Jun 18, 2023·edited Jun 18, 2023Liked by Lyle McKeany
Excellent article Lyle! I once had a client lie to me for over a year on a sensitive topic. When she did finally tell me, all of her symptoms finally made sense. I did share with her that it wasn't logical to pay me money to lie to me! I guess we all do this on some level. Isn't it a lie if we pay for a gym membership and then not work out? Isn't it a lie to pay for a nutrition plan and then not follow it? I guess mental health therapy is similar. We know it can be helpful to resolve some deep-seated issues, but our resistant - bratty brain gets in the way.
This is definitely a very real human problem. While reading this, I thought of my own tendency to hold back in prayer when struggling with deeper issues, even though I firmly believe God already knows everything about me. That certainly throws internal conflict into sharp relief, when you’re sure the One you’re talking to already has all the intimate details and yet are afraid to say anything!
It is a process. And you will get there. Thanks for being willing to share your journey with us.
Wait, so Sara made you lunch…. A quesadilla? I can’t even get mine to bring me a beer anymore! Lucky dude!
Yeah, she’s a good kid. She had some great presentation with it too lol
That’s fantastic! Good on you guys
Thanks for sharing my note, and of course, for allowing yourself to be vulnerable. I know how hard it can be to open up in front of a stranger like that. I wish you well, Lyle.
Thanks, Andrei!
Lyle! Thank you SO MUCH for the courage to be honest (with allllll of us)! Writing, talking, feeling the struggle... It’s a mixed approach therapy and it’s absolutely ok to change our minds about what works and when. I’ve got this coach, not even a licensed therapist, who I’ve cried to in every single session, and it’s made a world of difference to just be honest with someone. (Interestingly enough, I’m usually frazzled, logging on from some other meetings with an empty stomach). She’s a somatic coach, which is why I’ve been so thrilled with the Foster experience. It sucks that we need permission to take a breath, but at least someone is encouraging us! Keep writing, keep talking, keep surrounding yourself with amazing humans like your awesome stepdaughter!!
The somatic work Andrew has facilitated has been a huge help for me too. He’s sooooo good
Man, this is gold! Moving from the "I feel like" to the "I feel" mindset is so crucial - getting into our body and integrating what we think & feel. As a therapist, I love seeing people write things like this. It's the work outside of the work. Thank you for your vulnerability.
Thanks, Blake! It's been a journey, for sure. And it's never over. I was telling someone the other day that I think me feeling the anxiety more and how it manifests in my body is actually a good sign that the work I'm doing is actually working.
Thanks for the honesty. I love it. Vulnerability is crucial. It all sounds very human. We all do things like this sometimes. We want to be honest but we also want people to like us. It’s a tricky game to play for writers, who’re always trying to walk that very delicate line between fact and fiction, truth and lie, honesty and concealment.
Michael Mohr
‘Sincere American Writing’
https://michaelmohr.substack.com/
Yes, for sure. Writing is like an artistic filter
love this share. and the wisdom that comes from such “intense” moments.
My therapist lets me bring my partner into our sessions every once in a while and those are, by far, the most revealing sessions for me. 😂 Nothing like getting in a fight in front of your therapist so that she sees all of your triggers, reactions, and emotional patterns in real time. lol
Lol, true. We do that with Allison’s therapist and it’s super helpful, but can be very challenging sometimes too
Thank you. My therapy sessions have been in person but are about to go Zoom and your honesty has given me a heads up to be aware of hiding.
I hadn’t even thought about if Zoom is a factor in this. I originally started going to him in person, pre-pandemic, obviously.
Excellent article Lyle! I once had a client lie to me for over a year on a sensitive topic. When she did finally tell me, all of her symptoms finally made sense. I did share with her that it wasn't logical to pay me money to lie to me! I guess we all do this on some level. Isn't it a lie if we pay for a gym membership and then not work out? Isn't it a lie to pay for a nutrition plan and then not follow it? I guess mental health therapy is similar. We know it can be helpful to resolve some deep-seated issues, but our resistant - bratty brain gets in the way.
That’s so true. I hadn’t made that connection with things like the gym, but it makes perfect sense
This is definitely a very real human problem. While reading this, I thought of my own tendency to hold back in prayer when struggling with deeper issues, even though I firmly believe God already knows everything about me. That certainly throws internal conflict into sharp relief, when you’re sure the One you’re talking to already has all the intimate details and yet are afraid to say anything!
It is a process. And you will get there. Thanks for being willing to share your journey with us.
Thanks, Sam!
That's a great approach to it. Thanks for sharing, Kimia!