Jul 22, 2023Liked by Lyle McKeany, Alicia Kenworthy
The 'voice' as I often refer to you--because everything you write rings with the gift of a remarkable, unmistakable, unforgettable author's voice. Why would such a writer ever give up? Nah!
Jul 22, 2023Liked by Lyle McKeany, Alicia Kenworthy
"It’s a fine line, his begrudging smile seemed to imply, between aspiring to the life of Joan Didion and ending up like one of the characters who inspired her work." Alicia! What a great line. Thank you, Lyle for introducing me to the voice of Alicia Kenworthy. A lovely read.
Jul 22, 2023Liked by Lyle McKeany, Alicia Kenworthy
I loved this line too. Loved the whole piece. I recognize the struggle to both live the story and tell it, or turn into art of some kind. That can make for fraught days and nights but also great writing,, like this
Thank you both! Fraught days and nights, indeed. So much tension when a moment begs both presence and capturing. I guess it's not unlike being a photographer except the camera is one's headspace.
Jul 22, 2023Liked by Lyle McKeany, Alicia Kenworthy
Alicia: you always write with such precision and, as others have noted, "voice." Bravo for this outstanding essay.
I've been guilty of telling you to "write it out" before, and this post got me thinking about when it may or may not be useful to do so. For me, writing out anger and frustration and annoyance via satire is a great processing tool. But perhaps "writing it out" for you presents an even more formidable challenge.
The idea of seeing your life as a plot device is really compelling, and I don't know how you might rectify that impulse. Perhaps that very impulse is what makes you a writer in the first place.
If you'd indulge in an unsolicited thought experiment: maybe "writing it out" for you means taking an unexpected swing. Maybe you're the world's best sci-fi writer, and you just don't know it. Maybe you should dunk on one of society's villains -- it's fun, trust me. Maybe a literary fiction allegory about climate change is just the type of unexpected challenge you need.
"Never give up" is an empty platitude. But your talent is viscerally obvious. So, never give up.
Your comments always brighten my day, Amran! Thank you. The idea of life as a plot device is a really interesting question -- I tend to follow my curiosities, sometimes for better, sometimes for worse. I also process anger through writing really well! For the rest, I think it's really a question of knowing when the story is "over" enough to work as fodder -- I think the advice to write from your scars, not your wounds, is pretty solid. At least for public consumption. When I'm going through something, sometimes I find I've talked too much about it via voice notes or text messages or whatever and then the energy to turn that into art can feel like "work." So sometimes it's also about saving true gems until I'm actually ready to write write and it won't sound overly rehearsed. (It's so much more difficult to breath life into something when I've repeated it 50 times and am not actively processing through the prose itself.)
Love the thought experiment idea. You might be on to something!
I am so impressed by the good fortune and the way you have worked around heartbreak. You are a champion, Alicia. I’m generally a train wreck and can use the end of days as an excuse to never date again until I give in and try. As for a first, I am looking into the world of matchmakers at age 50, though have decided if it is not someone who sets my heart on fire then I’d rather have fun on my own. And you are such a lovely person, I know you will find your Prince Charming. Me, ugghh, I just don’t know how I didn’t meet the architect of my dreams while working behind the giant keyhole in the Guggenheim positioned between Robert Smithson and Robert Maphethorpe. What a better place??
If you are still in NYC, my old daily hangout was the Bluebell Cafe on 3rd. Down the street there is a veg vitamin shop deli combo that holds the elusive blueberry tofu knish. Only 3 shops in Manhattan have it, and I would negotiate the last one out of someone’s hands like it was a hostage situation. They are so good! Do have a knish, any knish, while you are there at least. I wish I was there and miss it so much. I’m more of a Manhattanite than a SFer, by far. The one thing missing in NYC: a good pool for someone who will want to swim daily. A pool in my pad in Manhattan and CA would see only my dust!
The word “housewife” brings on a cringe, and beware of those confusing the word housewife with housekeeper! I’m one person and I need my own housekeeper. Don’t sign any housewife agreement unless you’ve had it reviewed by the equivalent of a Kardashian (still have not seen even one show, and I know they are not the scrubbing bubbles, and have the biz). I’ve never even given thought to the Mrs. degree concept, and keep my professional world professional. I once went out with someone who thought that because he changed careers that I would have to change my world to match his and become something completely different, because he thought himself more important than me and that his success card always had to lead. I started making more money, got a serving of sabotage, and ended it. Know how you are valued! Housewife … pssshhtt, better pay a lot and include some travel and a housekeeper! Maybe matchmaking? I like the idea of introduction vs sidewalk serendipity, unless we are taking Guggenheim material 😎.
I will write on my substack again soon. So busy, and behind on ideas since I decided to take a break.
The architect of your dreams behind the giant keyhole in the Guggenheim -- I so love that image!!! You need to at least write that into a screenplay.
By the way, have you read anything by Claire Keegan? I downloaded "Small Things Like These" onto my Kindle last week and something about her prose reminded me somewhat of yours. A similar dancing, lively, magical quality. I've only read a few pages so far so if you pick up a copy and it ends up being awful please disregard the association ha.
Ugh, nothing like a man who wholly expects you to change yourself! Matchmakers can be fun if I do say so myself. That said, I think the open secret that people don't talk about enough is how single women are actually one of the happiest demographics and for good reason. :)
Circumstances rushed me out of NYC before I had time to stop for a knish but I've never tried one and you have so piqued my curiosity!! I'll be back before long and a knish quest is top of my list.
Gracious thanx for the recommendation of Claire Keegan. The SF library has the audio and digital book of “Small Things Like These” ready for a good bathtub listen, which is lately the Vendredi sur Mer music hour.
“I’m inside a keyhole between two Roberts.” How could anyone not find me?!? Hm... I think I will name my architect Tesson, and for certain he will be a sexy chewer. The whole thing began as a response to meeting young a rabbi who asked, “well, if this fashion model is not the guy for you, then what type of guy would you like to meet?” My response, “an architect,” was an equally absurd short answer to a hill of a question. Instead of writing my substack when attempting to restart last month, I further explored this question, dragging it into the imagination specifically to better prepare for matchmaking.
Squeeze is playing in NYC on September 8th, the day after my birthday. Missing music bugs me no matter where it is, though my nostalgia has brought me back into a cycle of a daily carrot juice and a Barbells protein bar (over my favorite knish). Though Trader Joe’s is no deli with a daily smile behind the counter, it will have to do. Even more so lately, I find myself wondering how do I get all I desire in SoCal and all I desire in NYC into the same plan. I need a matchmaker who is also a relocation specialist on the side. If I can manage to place a new beau and a new pad within reasonable driving distance, that would be spectacular. And I fully agree, no relationship is much better than being in the wrong one, and dealbreakers are there for a reason.
Uggh. I’m supposed to write on The Pack Rat first! Bath time! ... Oh and if you are feeling the blues, I recommend Root2 5HTP from vitacost. it is the best of all, and I tried many. Cheers!
Jul 23, 2023Liked by Lyle McKeany, Alicia Kenworthy
I've now had time to revisit this post, Alicia, and I'd just like to add two more things if I may. Firstly, I've always thought of writing as therapy is ok, but publishing that writing in effect turns readers into therapists, more so if the writing is just a whingefest. I'm speaking generally, not specifically about your writing, which I could read forever. The second thing is, looking at life through the lens of a plot is what writers naturally do. (I myself do it all the time.) That alone should tell you that you were born to be a writer.
Please always add all the things! Yes... I think the question of writing as catharsis is such an interesting question. Chuck Palahniuk talks on his Substack quite often about his mentor, Tom Spanbauer and his adherence to "dangerous writing" -- (borrowing from a Google search here) -- "writing what personally scares or embarrasses the author in order to explore and artistically express those fears honestly." It's a far cry between that, though, and the pages and pages one may jot down in a journal just to "get things out." I know, at least for myself, that I rarely like to re-read my own journals. It's usually three pages of me, well, whining. And I care even less for others' opinions in those moments! So I suppose there's a useful distinction to be made between different kinds of writing for different purposes. Although I do love hearing about other people's problems as a reader. Perhaps I should start an advice column.
Anyway, that's comforting to know you look at life through the lens of plot, too! I guess I'm not the only crazy one. :)
I am not familiar with the work of the people you've mentioned, so I will have to investigate. I don't keep a personal journal or diary myself. Although I am a nice person ( he says modestly), when I read someone's newsletter and every post is some sort of whinge I find myself in sympathy with the sentiment expressed in The Beatles' song I'm Down: "You still moan, keep your heartaches to yourself." 😁 I have come to the conclusion that all writers are crazy, Alicia. I was chatting with a Substacker today in a cafe in London, and he does the same thing. And I read recently the wise words of a famous writer, whose name is currently beyond my reach, that writers never really have a holiday because they're always thinking about how every experience can be used in their writing somehow! So you're in good company 😂
Jul 23, 2023Liked by Lyle McKeany, Alicia Kenworthy
Loved this vibrant and poignant piece, Alicia! "How often have I weighed major life decisions through a lens of plot?" Here's hoping you stay the writing course. Thanks for the intro to Lyle McKeany and see ya around Story Club.
Jul 23, 2023Liked by Lyle McKeany, Alicia Kenworthy
You clearly have a voice, and I'd also encourage you to keep writing. But what's this shit about a few years left to be a housewife?? If you want kids, have kids - but middle-aged adulthood is not about retiring from Joan Didion experiences; it is one more, as worthy of being chronicled as interviewing the incarcerated murderer.
Love that and I agree with you completely! That's me being melodramatic and defeatist for effect, but we need many more Grace Paleys in this world. I'm still divided on the kids question. I've always been open to them but would depend with whom and in what context.
The 'voice' as I often refer to you--because everything you write rings with the gift of a remarkable, unmistakable, unforgettable author's voice. Why would such a writer ever give up? Nah!
This means so much, Mary! Thank you. xx
"It’s a fine line, his begrudging smile seemed to imply, between aspiring to the life of Joan Didion and ending up like one of the characters who inspired her work." Alicia! What a great line. Thank you, Lyle for introducing me to the voice of Alicia Kenworthy. A lovely read.
I loved this line too. Loved the whole piece. I recognize the struggle to both live the story and tell it, or turn into art of some kind. That can make for fraught days and nights but also great writing,, like this
Thank you both! Fraught days and nights, indeed. So much tension when a moment begs both presence and capturing. I guess it's not unlike being a photographer except the camera is one's headspace.
Alicia: you always write with such precision and, as others have noted, "voice." Bravo for this outstanding essay.
I've been guilty of telling you to "write it out" before, and this post got me thinking about when it may or may not be useful to do so. For me, writing out anger and frustration and annoyance via satire is a great processing tool. But perhaps "writing it out" for you presents an even more formidable challenge.
The idea of seeing your life as a plot device is really compelling, and I don't know how you might rectify that impulse. Perhaps that very impulse is what makes you a writer in the first place.
If you'd indulge in an unsolicited thought experiment: maybe "writing it out" for you means taking an unexpected swing. Maybe you're the world's best sci-fi writer, and you just don't know it. Maybe you should dunk on one of society's villains -- it's fun, trust me. Maybe a literary fiction allegory about climate change is just the type of unexpected challenge you need.
"Never give up" is an empty platitude. But your talent is viscerally obvious. So, never give up.
Your comments always brighten my day, Amran! Thank you. The idea of life as a plot device is a really interesting question -- I tend to follow my curiosities, sometimes for better, sometimes for worse. I also process anger through writing really well! For the rest, I think it's really a question of knowing when the story is "over" enough to work as fodder -- I think the advice to write from your scars, not your wounds, is pretty solid. At least for public consumption. When I'm going through something, sometimes I find I've talked too much about it via voice notes or text messages or whatever and then the energy to turn that into art can feel like "work." So sometimes it's also about saving true gems until I'm actually ready to write write and it won't sound overly rehearsed. (It's so much more difficult to breath life into something when I've repeated it 50 times and am not actively processing through the prose itself.)
Love the thought experiment idea. You might be on to something!
That's astute regarding expending your creative energy before you can make it "art."
One of the better writing "one-liners" that's stuck with me: write the emotions you know, in the situations you don't.
Oh I love that!!! Spot on.
It's so nice to see your name again Alicia. I love your writing. Please don't ever give it up.
It's always so nice to see yours, Terry! Thank you so much.
😃
I loved this.
Thank you Julia!
I am so impressed by the good fortune and the way you have worked around heartbreak. You are a champion, Alicia. I’m generally a train wreck and can use the end of days as an excuse to never date again until I give in and try. As for a first, I am looking into the world of matchmakers at age 50, though have decided if it is not someone who sets my heart on fire then I’d rather have fun on my own. And you are such a lovely person, I know you will find your Prince Charming. Me, ugghh, I just don’t know how I didn’t meet the architect of my dreams while working behind the giant keyhole in the Guggenheim positioned between Robert Smithson and Robert Maphethorpe. What a better place??
If you are still in NYC, my old daily hangout was the Bluebell Cafe on 3rd. Down the street there is a veg vitamin shop deli combo that holds the elusive blueberry tofu knish. Only 3 shops in Manhattan have it, and I would negotiate the last one out of someone’s hands like it was a hostage situation. They are so good! Do have a knish, any knish, while you are there at least. I wish I was there and miss it so much. I’m more of a Manhattanite than a SFer, by far. The one thing missing in NYC: a good pool for someone who will want to swim daily. A pool in my pad in Manhattan and CA would see only my dust!
The word “housewife” brings on a cringe, and beware of those confusing the word housewife with housekeeper! I’m one person and I need my own housekeeper. Don’t sign any housewife agreement unless you’ve had it reviewed by the equivalent of a Kardashian (still have not seen even one show, and I know they are not the scrubbing bubbles, and have the biz). I’ve never even given thought to the Mrs. degree concept, and keep my professional world professional. I once went out with someone who thought that because he changed careers that I would have to change my world to match his and become something completely different, because he thought himself more important than me and that his success card always had to lead. I started making more money, got a serving of sabotage, and ended it. Know how you are valued! Housewife … pssshhtt, better pay a lot and include some travel and a housekeeper! Maybe matchmaking? I like the idea of introduction vs sidewalk serendipity, unless we are taking Guggenheim material 😎.
I will write on my substack again soon. So busy, and behind on ideas since I decided to take a break.
The architect of your dreams behind the giant keyhole in the Guggenheim -- I so love that image!!! You need to at least write that into a screenplay.
By the way, have you read anything by Claire Keegan? I downloaded "Small Things Like These" onto my Kindle last week and something about her prose reminded me somewhat of yours. A similar dancing, lively, magical quality. I've only read a few pages so far so if you pick up a copy and it ends up being awful please disregard the association ha.
Ugh, nothing like a man who wholly expects you to change yourself! Matchmakers can be fun if I do say so myself. That said, I think the open secret that people don't talk about enough is how single women are actually one of the happiest demographics and for good reason. :)
Circumstances rushed me out of NYC before I had time to stop for a knish but I've never tried one and you have so piqued my curiosity!! I'll be back before long and a knish quest is top of my list.
Gracious thanx for the recommendation of Claire Keegan. The SF library has the audio and digital book of “Small Things Like These” ready for a good bathtub listen, which is lately the Vendredi sur Mer music hour.
“I’m inside a keyhole between two Roberts.” How could anyone not find me?!? Hm... I think I will name my architect Tesson, and for certain he will be a sexy chewer. The whole thing began as a response to meeting young a rabbi who asked, “well, if this fashion model is not the guy for you, then what type of guy would you like to meet?” My response, “an architect,” was an equally absurd short answer to a hill of a question. Instead of writing my substack when attempting to restart last month, I further explored this question, dragging it into the imagination specifically to better prepare for matchmaking.
Squeeze is playing in NYC on September 8th, the day after my birthday. Missing music bugs me no matter where it is, though my nostalgia has brought me back into a cycle of a daily carrot juice and a Barbells protein bar (over my favorite knish). Though Trader Joe’s is no deli with a daily smile behind the counter, it will have to do. Even more so lately, I find myself wondering how do I get all I desire in SoCal and all I desire in NYC into the same plan. I need a matchmaker who is also a relocation specialist on the side. If I can manage to place a new beau and a new pad within reasonable driving distance, that would be spectacular. And I fully agree, no relationship is much better than being in the wrong one, and dealbreakers are there for a reason.
Uggh. I’m supposed to write on The Pack Rat first! Bath time! ... Oh and if you are feeling the blues, I recommend Root2 5HTP from vitacost. it is the best of all, and I tried many. Cheers!
I've now had time to revisit this post, Alicia, and I'd just like to add two more things if I may. Firstly, I've always thought of writing as therapy is ok, but publishing that writing in effect turns readers into therapists, more so if the writing is just a whingefest. I'm speaking generally, not specifically about your writing, which I could read forever. The second thing is, looking at life through the lens of a plot is what writers naturally do. (I myself do it all the time.) That alone should tell you that you were born to be a writer.
Please always add all the things! Yes... I think the question of writing as catharsis is such an interesting question. Chuck Palahniuk talks on his Substack quite often about his mentor, Tom Spanbauer and his adherence to "dangerous writing" -- (borrowing from a Google search here) -- "writing what personally scares or embarrasses the author in order to explore and artistically express those fears honestly." It's a far cry between that, though, and the pages and pages one may jot down in a journal just to "get things out." I know, at least for myself, that I rarely like to re-read my own journals. It's usually three pages of me, well, whining. And I care even less for others' opinions in those moments! So I suppose there's a useful distinction to be made between different kinds of writing for different purposes. Although I do love hearing about other people's problems as a reader. Perhaps I should start an advice column.
Anyway, that's comforting to know you look at life through the lens of plot, too! I guess I'm not the only crazy one. :)
I am not familiar with the work of the people you've mentioned, so I will have to investigate. I don't keep a personal journal or diary myself. Although I am a nice person ( he says modestly), when I read someone's newsletter and every post is some sort of whinge I find myself in sympathy with the sentiment expressed in The Beatles' song I'm Down: "You still moan, keep your heartaches to yourself." 😁 I have come to the conclusion that all writers are crazy, Alicia. I was chatting with a Substacker today in a cafe in London, and he does the same thing. And I read recently the wise words of a famous writer, whose name is currently beyond my reach, that writers never really have a holiday because they're always thinking about how every experience can be used in their writing somehow! So you're in good company 😂
Loved this vibrant and poignant piece, Alicia! "How often have I weighed major life decisions through a lens of plot?" Here's hoping you stay the writing course. Thanks for the intro to Lyle McKeany and see ya around Story Club.
Yay! Thanks so much, Sue. Glad I could introduce you to Lyle’s work. (And you’re reminding me I have some Tolstoy to read!)
Ha--yes! It’s a harrowing story.
You clearly have a voice, and I'd also encourage you to keep writing. But what's this shit about a few years left to be a housewife?? If you want kids, have kids - but middle-aged adulthood is not about retiring from Joan Didion experiences; it is one more, as worthy of being chronicled as interviewing the incarcerated murderer.
Love that and I agree with you completely! That's me being melodramatic and defeatist for effect, but we need many more Grace Paleys in this world. I'm still divided on the kids question. I've always been open to them but would depend with whom and in what context.
A guy with a trust fund, money for nannies and housekeepers, an estate somewhere beautiful...doesn't sound so bad, does it?
I'm in! Introduce me when you meet him haha