the paradox of being seen
Until about a few years ago, I used to be a huge people pleaser, and that meant having to put up with a lot of unsolicited advice, having to spend time with people whose company I despised, and having to gauge my life from many different perspectives. I used to read about how it is detrimental to your health, but I never thought much of it simply because I never realised that I was being a people pleaser. One day it struck to me, "ultimately, I am my only company, I have to spend each and every moment of my life with myself, until death". Once this realisation hit, life has been so much more fun, and you feel like a huge weight is lifted off your shoulders.
This brings back a vision of my Grandmother and Grandfathers shared bedroom closet. It ways maybe 5 feet wide. Sparse in todays world. My closets, yes, closets are huge in comparison and of course I wear the same clothes every week. Please don’t judge me! Love, Mom ❤️
Fantastic and important. I see you, but like, in the healthy good way
Excellent as always. It’s amazing how much people care what others think about them, and how little other people actually do.
Congratulations on your arrival to a wonderful stage in your life. May you always have a "healthy disregard" for what others think of you. I have it some days more than others. But I do have the simplified wardrobe down -- some of my clothes were with me more than two decades ago.
The pandemic put things into perspective for me! I took a year's sabbatical from a career that I will likely never go back to. I’m willing to make far less money, have less clothing, and have less
prestige in order to feel the way I want to feel. Great essay!
Ok, let me be the first to say something about it: buy a second pair of shorts! Hahaha. Great writing as usual.
"Maybe you shouldn’t care so much about what other people think about you. Because they’re rarely thinking about you." We are all so ego-centric, though, so narcissistic, we are always the center of our own universe. I am not entirely sure your suggestions will change that, but you made me think. Thank you. Sharron at 🍁Leaves
Nice Lyle loved it. Great advice
Dude. I was just writing about how overthinking is the spawn of perfectionism, and bam! There was your newsletter. I couldn’t pass up a mention ➡️https://dementedlife.com/underthinking/
Your writing is so relatable. Not gonna unsubscribe.
This was so good and enjoyable. I love how personable your writing style is. I want to be seen for my authentic self and embrace my weirdness all at the same time!
I went through my closet and chucked out a whole lot of clothes that 'weren't me'. They were clothes for an alternative version of me, the one who is thin and elegant and well dressed.
I've noticed that all the remaining clothes are soft and comfortable to wear. I no longer care what people think. It's a joy to just please yourself.
This is very special and hits home for many of us. Thank you.
So true. People spend the bulk of their time thinking about themselves and their own concerns. Not being impressed by others. I think the best thing you can do is be yourself, or authentic. Then those who like what they see will be genuinely interested. And if they are not, by bother trying to make them? Just be real.
I like your style!