or something like that
I like the suggestion of thinking in odds. I have a very overactive mind when it comes to things that trouble me and often find myself on a rollercoaster ride of racing thoughts that takes me straight to worst-case scenarios. Taking the time to step back and consider the more realistic potential outcomes would be hugely helpful for me.
I also come back to two Bible verses when I'm anxious:
"Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." ~ Philippians 4:6-7
"Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you." ~ 1 Peter 5:7
They remind me that praying is the best thing I can do to deal with worry. :)
Self-awareness is an amazing skill but like anything be taken too far. I miss subtlety and quiet moments in the presence of people I used to know. It’s tough to build new relationships, but being who you are upfront saves a lot of backend grief!
As a certified chill person who has always been surrounded by type A personalities, I related to this a lot. From my experience, a lot of people also associate anxiety and ambition. As in, if I’m not stressed about it, how could I be motivated to pursue it. I’ve never thought about trying to convert someone to being more chill, but I like the framework you gave here. I also agree that when you are chill, it’s important to have strong boundaries. I’m always surprised by the amount of people who think being chill means easy to boss around.
You want me to use reason and logic!? How dare yo...no, wait...that actually makes a lot of sense.
I often feel like you and I share a brain when I read your newsletter. This time is different. My chillness doesn’t comfort my husband as much as it drives him crazy, though, I think. 😂
Brilliant, Lyle. I appreciate your realistic take on worrying. Sometimes it is helpful to worry about things we can actually do something about. To worry about those things that are out of our control, is pointless. You know, -- like politics, other peoples opinions, death. So that narrows it down a bit. Thank you.
Lyle, I wish what you said about the reasonable of bosses is true, but it's not. My husband was let go because he missed aa deadline by a few weeks.