"I want this change to stick. I want to feel stronger... It’s just a thing I do on a regular basis without making a big deal out of it." Yes! Making it a habit - like brushing your teeth, taking a shower. Sounds easy to do and easy to sustain, but it is not. I takes constant mindfulness, I think. A fine post! GO LYLE!
Loved this, Lyle! The first part read like you were writing about me. I’m exactly in that place in my life, where in the past year or so I’ve lost about twenty pounds, and it’s the first time I was ever able to do so consistently. I feel myself making better choices, even somewhat unconsciously sometimes. Which means I’m acquiring better habits.
As for the rest of it, I’ve felt weak before, especially since over the years I met a lot of folks who were martial artists or heavily into gymming, and I used to compare myself to them, see them as “real men”, as opposed to the “normal” guys I hung out with on the regular. So that part of your essay spoke to me to. I’ve been feeling much stronger since
I started boxing three months ago, but it’s probably just a matter of my confidence increasing rather than any meaningful changes in body composition.
In any case, a man’s relationship to his body is just as complex and fraught with issues as a woman’s. Thank you for bringing attention to that.
I totally agree with the "a man’s relationship to his body is just as complex and fraught with issues as a woman’s" sentiment. It's just not talked about as much. But it should be. I've had those same feelings of guys at the gym being "real men" or too bro-y for me. This F45 class has a good mix of people who mostly all fit into the more "normal" bucket, if you will, which is refreshing.
Golf is indeed a game of the mind. Ben Hogan famously said that the toughest part of golf is six inches...between the ears. I love the mindfulness of having to forget the last shot and the next shot and focus on the one at hand. For what it’s worth if you do that well, the rest will fall into place. 🤷🏻♂️
That Hogan quote is so spot-on. He also once said that there's no such thing as a natural born golfer. That guy knew a thing or two about the game, didn't he?
Enjoyed this, Lyle. I come from the opposite end of the spectrum, both in terms of body type and mindset. Exercise is all about mental hygiene for me, both in terms of brain chemistry and overall sense of wellbeing. I have to remind myself to take days off and make sure that the intensity level doesn't cross over into self-harm.
I wonder if there might be a common denominator here in terms of how exercise fits into a personal narrative. I hear you trying to write a story in which fitness plays a more central role: you want to live longer for the sake of your kids, etc. My sense is that people who find their way into the gym or onto the yoga mat regularly have come to feel that it's just part of who they are. I think when that happens, there really isn't any need for complex formulas or motivational messaging?
Now you're making me want to write that essay about the inclusivity of Peloton workouts. It's such a far cry from the muscle head culture of the 80s and 90s. I really enjoy feeling like I'm part of a community, rather than just grinding away on my own.
F45 has a community feel to it and isn’t filled with a bunch of muscle heads either. Most of the sessions I’ve been to have more women than men actually.
It does feel like an identity change. I’m a person that takes care of his body more now. It was so easy to ignore it before and pursue other things like my career.
Hi Lyle! Loved your algebra formula! And I’m surprised at saying this because I hated hated algebra at school! It’s a very imaginative and curious way to craft an idea! You know, I managed to stick to “working out” when I found The Class by Taryn Toomey. She has a fab platform that offers exercise combined with mindfulness plus yoga plus Pilates plus meditations plus breathing techniques. It’s a lot of mindfulness on your body while you move. Now that you mentioned mindfulness, maybe that Taryn s method is up your alley! If it is, let me know and I can share with you a referral link so you can try out 30 days for free on their membership :)
To be fair, according to the scale, my husband isn’t that much heavier, but now has to buy XLs instead of Ls. Something fishy is a-foot. Also, might I suggest a yoga trial?? I started 8 years ago and I’ve never felt better (SOOO core strong!!). I dare say it’s also fended off my Multiple Sclerosis?? Not proven but something’s working!!
Oh interesting! I did yoga a bit years ago, but not nearly enough to get the full effects. I’m very not flexible, which made some positions a bit difficult to get into. It’s probably worth a try again, though.
Yeah!! Consider it one little thing you try here and there. And might I recommend “Yoga with Adriene” on YT! You can find TONS of her free Yoga for Beginner vids and she’s just a hoot!!
Thanks for writing this Lyle. I’m on a similar journey. I would have said that it was due to my amazing smartwatch and its apps because I’m visual and love the graphs. But I think my (x) of your formula is the community I’ve got and how encouraging they’ve been. I’m eager to read about your getting more sleep. I’m just about to hang blackout curtains to see if that helps.
Old person here.... DO IT, DO IT NOW. Never mind the I shoulds. Look at Future You. (I am now Future Me) and ask how long you want your body to feel good. Trust me on this JUST DO IT NOW.
P.S. And also look after your teeth really really really really well.
I was a master procrastinator, probably my greatest skill. ha ha. Not useful long term though apparently! Also my other advice is just do anything you LOVE even if you only love it for a couple of years and then change. Golf then cycling then belly dancing? Hmm. Ballroom dancing? Doesn't matter so long as you MOVE and love it. Best of luck. I believe in you!!
April, that’s such good advice! My uncle used to always tell me that too, “Take care of your teeth!,”, as his great-aunt had always told him. I did end up needing a couple crowns and implants, so guess I didn’t take the advice well enough. I’ve been reading oral health is connected to heart health and is so important to general health. I am now Future Me, also... wishing Past Me had been more considerate of Future Me!
Ha ha, it's pretty tough when you get here and finally start getting your shit together but realising that you have made it SO much harder for yourself leaving it so late. Sigh. I cannot get an NHS dentist and cannot afford a private one and that makes me very sad. Toothless old crone here I come I guess. But a reasonably fit toothless old crone probably!
Oh you must be in the U.K.! What you’re experiencing isn’t fair, and it’s ironic to me because I have always thought of other nations as having much better health and dental care than ours, because profit is such a HUGE factor in our health care system in the U.S. Our insurance companies and doctors get rich, while too many citizens go without health care and dental care and can’t afford their medicines. I just naively assumed that anyone could get what they need from the NHS there. 😢 Now I wonder which country has the best, most equitable health care system?!
The system here is broken. I am entitled to NHS dental care but there are no spaces. They do not pay dentists enough for them to take on NHS patients. The doctors and hospitals all broken too. Lots of middle management and waiting lists so long that no one gets seen. Its all a bit of a mess right now. I wish I had taken more responsibility for myself all along. I make a LOT of effort now with what I eat and exercise etc but I feel I left it all a bit late!
Oh I have some of the same feelings! I’m now inspired by Lyle to exercise, and by you too now😊, kudos on your effort now with food and exercise!!, I never prioritized it enough. I have a new doctor who tested me for something I had never even heard of, “plasmalogens”, and it turns out I’m extremely low in them - while still trying to understand their role in my health?!?! I think a lot of us are in the same boat! 😱🥺🤔😘
I have found that 30 minutes daily pilates has helped my core muscles, daily walking has helped my general mobility and joints, sea swimming in cold water once a week has helped my mental health and cycling my electric bike 3 - 4 times a week is the thing I LOVE the most! I think it's important to accept that not all of what we do will be fun, sometimes it is feels like a chore but now I just accept that it has to be done and I stop arguing with myself ha ha. I hope that you find the right way forward for YOU towards better health. I wish you the best of luck
Glad to hear it, Chandler! I've got to get another lesson on the books with you soon here. But maybe after we play a round at the end of the month. I don't want to be tinkering too much before then 😆
Awesome. I absolutely relate to this! I’ve never been skinny, though. I’ve always been kinda on the thicker side. Just my body type. But certainly not fat. And always naturally strong. I’ve gone through so many phases of working out, from cycling to swimming to running, etc. I relate to your flush of embarrassment when the really fit guy asks if you work out? Not like that!!! I like your conclusion, which is where I’ve landed: Moderation; balance. You can work out a medium amount and do your body a lot of good (as well as also of course eating healthier) without working out 6 days a week. For some it’s a lifestyle. For others it’s purely health. I’m in the latter camp.
I agree with the distinction you point out between a lifestyle and health. It’s nuanced, for sure. I’m certainly not doing it for anyone else but myself, although I suppose that also means I’m doing it for my family as an extension. But I really don’t care what some stranger thinks about me, so it’s tied to my identity in an outward-facing way, if that makes sense.
"I want this change to stick. I want to feel stronger... It’s just a thing I do on a regular basis without making a big deal out of it." Yes! Making it a habit - like brushing your teeth, taking a shower. Sounds easy to do and easy to sustain, but it is not. I takes constant mindfulness, I think. A fine post! GO LYLE!
Thanks for the encouragement, Sharron!
Loved this, Lyle! The first part read like you were writing about me. I’m exactly in that place in my life, where in the past year or so I’ve lost about twenty pounds, and it’s the first time I was ever able to do so consistently. I feel myself making better choices, even somewhat unconsciously sometimes. Which means I’m acquiring better habits.
As for the rest of it, I’ve felt weak before, especially since over the years I met a lot of folks who were martial artists or heavily into gymming, and I used to compare myself to them, see them as “real men”, as opposed to the “normal” guys I hung out with on the regular. So that part of your essay spoke to me to. I’ve been feeling much stronger since
I started boxing three months ago, but it’s probably just a matter of my confidence increasing rather than any meaningful changes in body composition.
In any case, a man’s relationship to his body is just as complex and fraught with issues as a woman’s. Thank you for bringing attention to that.
I totally agree with the "a man’s relationship to his body is just as complex and fraught with issues as a woman’s" sentiment. It's just not talked about as much. But it should be. I've had those same feelings of guys at the gym being "real men" or too bro-y for me. This F45 class has a good mix of people who mostly all fit into the more "normal" bucket, if you will, which is refreshing.
Touché
Golf is indeed a game of the mind. Ben Hogan famously said that the toughest part of golf is six inches...between the ears. I love the mindfulness of having to forget the last shot and the next shot and focus on the one at hand. For what it’s worth if you do that well, the rest will fall into place. 🤷🏻♂️
That Hogan quote is so spot-on. He also once said that there's no such thing as a natural born golfer. That guy knew a thing or two about the game, didn't he?
Enjoyed this, Lyle. I come from the opposite end of the spectrum, both in terms of body type and mindset. Exercise is all about mental hygiene for me, both in terms of brain chemistry and overall sense of wellbeing. I have to remind myself to take days off and make sure that the intensity level doesn't cross over into self-harm.
I wrote about that a while back -- "Why I Run."
https://joshuadolezal.substack.com/p/why-i-run
I wonder if there might be a common denominator here in terms of how exercise fits into a personal narrative. I hear you trying to write a story in which fitness plays a more central role: you want to live longer for the sake of your kids, etc. My sense is that people who find their way into the gym or onto the yoga mat regularly have come to feel that it's just part of who they are. I think when that happens, there really isn't any need for complex formulas or motivational messaging?
Now you're making me want to write that essay about the inclusivity of Peloton workouts. It's such a far cry from the muscle head culture of the 80s and 90s. I really enjoy feeling like I'm part of a community, rather than just grinding away on my own.
This resonates.
F45 has a community feel to it and isn’t filled with a bunch of muscle heads either. Most of the sessions I’ve been to have more women than men actually.
It does feel like an identity change. I’m a person that takes care of his body more now. It was so easy to ignore it before and pursue other things like my career.
Thanks for sharing your piece!
Hi Lyle! Loved your algebra formula! And I’m surprised at saying this because I hated hated algebra at school! It’s a very imaginative and curious way to craft an idea! You know, I managed to stick to “working out” when I found The Class by Taryn Toomey. She has a fab platform that offers exercise combined with mindfulness plus yoga plus Pilates plus meditations plus breathing techniques. It’s a lot of mindfulness on your body while you move. Now that you mentioned mindfulness, maybe that Taryn s method is up your alley! If it is, let me know and I can share with you a referral link so you can try out 30 days for free on their membership :)
Thanks for the offer and the kind words, Carolina!
To be fair, according to the scale, my husband isn’t that much heavier, but now has to buy XLs instead of Ls. Something fishy is a-foot. Also, might I suggest a yoga trial?? I started 8 years ago and I’ve never felt better (SOOO core strong!!). I dare say it’s also fended off my Multiple Sclerosis?? Not proven but something’s working!!
Oh interesting! I did yoga a bit years ago, but not nearly enough to get the full effects. I’m very not flexible, which made some positions a bit difficult to get into. It’s probably worth a try again, though.
Yeah!! Consider it one little thing you try here and there. And might I recommend “Yoga with Adriene” on YT! You can find TONS of her free Yoga for Beginner vids and she’s just a hoot!!
I always forget about YouTube for that sort of stuff. Good idea!
Thanks for writing this Lyle. I’m on a similar journey. I would have said that it was due to my amazing smartwatch and its apps because I’m visual and love the graphs. But I think my (x) of your formula is the community I’ve got and how encouraging they’ve been. I’m eager to read about your getting more sleep. I’m just about to hang blackout curtains to see if that helps.
Thanks, Eric! I know part of my (x) is my wife. She's probably shaking her head reading this piece thinking, "Finally!"
Old person here.... DO IT, DO IT NOW. Never mind the I shoulds. Look at Future You. (I am now Future Me) and ask how long you want your body to feel good. Trust me on this JUST DO IT NOW.
P.S. And also look after your teeth really really really really well.
Good luck :)
Thanks for the thoughtful comment, April. I think we can all benefit from looking at future us more often.
I was a master procrastinator, probably my greatest skill. ha ha. Not useful long term though apparently! Also my other advice is just do anything you LOVE even if you only love it for a couple of years and then change. Golf then cycling then belly dancing? Hmm. Ballroom dancing? Doesn't matter so long as you MOVE and love it. Best of luck. I believe in you!!
April, that’s such good advice! My uncle used to always tell me that too, “Take care of your teeth!,”, as his great-aunt had always told him. I did end up needing a couple crowns and implants, so guess I didn’t take the advice well enough. I’ve been reading oral health is connected to heart health and is so important to general health. I am now Future Me, also... wishing Past Me had been more considerate of Future Me!
Ha ha, it's pretty tough when you get here and finally start getting your shit together but realising that you have made it SO much harder for yourself leaving it so late. Sigh. I cannot get an NHS dentist and cannot afford a private one and that makes me very sad. Toothless old crone here I come I guess. But a reasonably fit toothless old crone probably!
Oh you must be in the U.K.! What you’re experiencing isn’t fair, and it’s ironic to me because I have always thought of other nations as having much better health and dental care than ours, because profit is such a HUGE factor in our health care system in the U.S. Our insurance companies and doctors get rich, while too many citizens go without health care and dental care and can’t afford their medicines. I just naively assumed that anyone could get what they need from the NHS there. 😢 Now I wonder which country has the best, most equitable health care system?!
The system here is broken. I am entitled to NHS dental care but there are no spaces. They do not pay dentists enough for them to take on NHS patients. The doctors and hospitals all broken too. Lots of middle management and waiting lists so long that no one gets seen. Its all a bit of a mess right now. I wish I had taken more responsibility for myself all along. I make a LOT of effort now with what I eat and exercise etc but I feel I left it all a bit late!
Oh I have some of the same feelings! I’m now inspired by Lyle to exercise, and by you too now😊, kudos on your effort now with food and exercise!!, I never prioritized it enough. I have a new doctor who tested me for something I had never even heard of, “plasmalogens”, and it turns out I’m extremely low in them - while still trying to understand their role in my health?!?! I think a lot of us are in the same boat! 😱🥺🤔😘
I have found that 30 minutes daily pilates has helped my core muscles, daily walking has helped my general mobility and joints, sea swimming in cold water once a week has helped my mental health and cycling my electric bike 3 - 4 times a week is the thing I LOVE the most! I think it's important to accept that not all of what we do will be fun, sometimes it is feels like a chore but now I just accept that it has to be done and I stop arguing with myself ha ha. I hope that you find the right way forward for YOU towards better health. I wish you the best of luck
Nice Lyle keep up the good work, that was motivating to read!
Glad to hear it, Chandler! I've got to get another lesson on the books with you soon here. But maybe after we play a round at the end of the month. I don't want to be tinkering too much before then 😆
Awesome. I absolutely relate to this! I’ve never been skinny, though. I’ve always been kinda on the thicker side. Just my body type. But certainly not fat. And always naturally strong. I’ve gone through so many phases of working out, from cycling to swimming to running, etc. I relate to your flush of embarrassment when the really fit guy asks if you work out? Not like that!!! I like your conclusion, which is where I’ve landed: Moderation; balance. You can work out a medium amount and do your body a lot of good (as well as also of course eating healthier) without working out 6 days a week. For some it’s a lifestyle. For others it’s purely health. I’m in the latter camp.
Michael Mohr
Sincere American Writing
https://michaelmohr.substack.com/
I agree with the distinction you point out between a lifestyle and health. It’s nuanced, for sure. I’m certainly not doing it for anyone else but myself, although I suppose that also means I’m doing it for my family as an extension. But I really don’t care what some stranger thinks about me, so it’s tied to my identity in an outward-facing way, if that makes sense.
I like your algebra!
Lol, thanks, Karen!