Loved these two paragraphs: "My work has historically been deeply tied to my identity. Like many American men, I saw success in my work as a measure of my self-worth, and the fact that I kept falling short left me feeling insecure and unsure.
I’ve grown tired of chasing the big win. Sure, it would be nice to see another digit tacked onto the total in my bank account. But I know on an intellectual level that it wouldn’t solve all my problems or necessarily make me any happier."
Chasing the big win as a writer is an increasingly cruel fantasy. I keep reminding myself of Bill McKibben's idea of durability (for the planet, but also for ourselves). The racehorse economy that cycles through explosive highs and sudden crashes is a poor model for our lives -- but there are no big wins without riding that horse. The workhorse who plods along through the mud and doesn't accelerate much down the home stretch, but who doesn't break a leg either, is a better prototype to live by.
Professional baseball was my first dream. I've been chasing the book dream for a while, but publishing my memoir was a reality check. Substack dangles the same idea in front of its writers, and I think it has to be resisted in favor of McKibben's idea. Sustain yourself, sustain your family and local community, and you'll have what you need (without risking catastrophe).
That’s the wisdom of age kicking in. I think contentment is a better path to happiness than “success.” If you enjoy what you have more than wish for what you don’t have, you will probably have a good life. Life is making memories. And it sounds like you have plenty. That is a successful life.
Ask any old person and they will tell you, relationships are more valuable than things. Or careers.
Love this window into your vocational life and how enmeshed it is with your identity. I’m fascinated to see the ways men navigate work and what catalyzes them to go after work in different ways. Thanks for sharing more of your story here, Lyle. You have indeed lived a rich and diverse work life! Now you’re going big at home!
This resonated on so many levels, especially this week as I've found myself trying to quantify how I spend my time and what activities are "worth it." Often the ones that make money have more weight in my subconscious even though I know other pieces of simply living a life actually nourish my spirit. In practice, in practice.
"I’ve grown tired of chasing the big win. Sure, it would be nice to see another digit tacked onto the total in my bank account. But I know on an intellectual level that it wouldn’t solve all my problems or necessarily make me any happier."
I love this, Lyle. I relate so much. I did the same thing, chasing satisfaction from job to job for many years. It's exhausting. It sounds like you've gotten to a place of peace and acceptance, which is amazing.
Bravo! When you read us the first draft, it was missing...you, your voice. This is so much stronger and better in every way. It is a pleasure and honor to read your work.
It's all about perspective, isn't it? No matter how many challenges we face with our kids, we have added perspective that (with perspective) is priceless. Wishing you all that and more, Lyle.
Hi Lyle! Thanks for sharing your journey! And! To find it in a beautifully crafted essay like this one is really inspiring. Thank you thank you for sharing :)
Loved these two paragraphs: "My work has historically been deeply tied to my identity. Like many American men, I saw success in my work as a measure of my self-worth, and the fact that I kept falling short left me feeling insecure and unsure.
I’ve grown tired of chasing the big win. Sure, it would be nice to see another digit tacked onto the total in my bank account. But I know on an intellectual level that it wouldn’t solve all my problems or necessarily make me any happier."
Chasing the big win as a writer is an increasingly cruel fantasy. I keep reminding myself of Bill McKibben's idea of durability (for the planet, but also for ourselves). The racehorse economy that cycles through explosive highs and sudden crashes is a poor model for our lives -- but there are no big wins without riding that horse. The workhorse who plods along through the mud and doesn't accelerate much down the home stretch, but who doesn't break a leg either, is a better prototype to live by.
Professional baseball was my first dream. I've been chasing the book dream for a while, but publishing my memoir was a reality check. Substack dangles the same idea in front of its writers, and I think it has to be resisted in favor of McKibben's idea. Sustain yourself, sustain your family and local community, and you'll have what you need (without risking catastrophe).
That’s the wisdom of age kicking in. I think contentment is a better path to happiness than “success.” If you enjoy what you have more than wish for what you don’t have, you will probably have a good life. Life is making memories. And it sounds like you have plenty. That is a successful life.
Ask any old person and they will tell you, relationships are more valuable than things. Or careers.
I loved this!! Also wtf you’ve led such a cool life 🙈
Love this window into your vocational life and how enmeshed it is with your identity. I’m fascinated to see the ways men navigate work and what catalyzes them to go after work in different ways. Thanks for sharing more of your story here, Lyle. You have indeed lived a rich and diverse work life! Now you’re going big at home!
This resonated on so many levels, especially this week as I've found myself trying to quantify how I spend my time and what activities are "worth it." Often the ones that make money have more weight in my subconscious even though I know other pieces of simply living a life actually nourish my spirit. In practice, in practice.
"I’ve grown tired of chasing the big win. Sure, it would be nice to see another digit tacked onto the total in my bank account. But I know on an intellectual level that it wouldn’t solve all my problems or necessarily make me any happier."
Hard-earned wisdom! I enjoyed this story.
I love this, Lyle. I relate so much. I did the same thing, chasing satisfaction from job to job for many years. It's exhausting. It sounds like you've gotten to a place of peace and acceptance, which is amazing.
That was awesome good one Lyle, what a story! 👍
Bravo! When you read us the first draft, it was missing...you, your voice. This is so much stronger and better in every way. It is a pleasure and honor to read your work.
It's all about perspective, isn't it? No matter how many challenges we face with our kids, we have added perspective that (with perspective) is priceless. Wishing you all that and more, Lyle.
Sir, this is EXACTLY WTF I needed to read today. Incredibly relatable.
Hi Lyle! Thanks for sharing your journey! And! To find it in a beautifully crafted essay like this one is really inspiring. Thank you thank you for sharing :)