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An Ordinary Disaster
An Ordinary Disaster
"Writing yourself into existence" with Lyle McKeany
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"Writing yourself into existence" with Lyle McKeany

Writing yourself into existence, how writing is like music, whether men can say “sex”, writing memoir as a man, what we're afraid to write about, writing groups, and our biggest challenge as writers.

Bowen Dwelle's avatar
Lyle McKeany's avatar
Bowen Dwelle
and
Lyle McKeany
May 20, 2023
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An Ordinary Disaster
An Ordinary Disaster
"Writing yourself into existence" with Lyle McKeany
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Cross-post from An Ordinary Disaster
I’m writing this—a bit late—up in the hills of Mendocino County near my wife’s uncle’s cabin. The cell service is spotty, at best. And he cracked up when I asked if he has WiFi. So a few minutes ago we took a short drive on his quads over the rolling hills to a neighbor’s house who’s out of town and has satellite WiFi. He just fired off a round and missed a squirrel as I was typing this. Needless to say, publishing a full-on post isn’t happening today. Instead, here’s a chat I did recently with a fellow memoir writer Bowen Dwelle. We had a wide-ranging talk and recorded it all for your posterity. Enjoy! -
Lyle McKeany

This conversation is part of a series of interviews with various brothers and teachers, including many fellow writers, all of which are part of the body of work surrounding my book-length memoir An Ordinary Disaster—one man's proof that we can all learn to listen to ourselves, and to act upon the inner voice of our self, our sanity and our soul.

Lyle McKeany
is the writer behind
Just Enough to Get Me in Trouble
as well as a creative coach, and
Bowen Dwelle
writes
DECIDE NOTHING
, which includes his serialized memoir in progress An Ordinary Disaster, about a man learning to listen to himself.

One of the most powerful things about Substack is community and connection with other writers. Our goal with this new collaborative interview format is to share something deeper about each others’ work with our readers.

We got together on May 11, 2023 for a deep and wide-ranging conversation that covered why we chose to write memoir, the power of story as a way to write oneself into existence, what memoir is (and isn’t), how writing is like music, the power of reading aloud, the value of having a writing group, the biggest pros and cons of Substack, whether we invested in Substack, writing about writing, what we’re afraid to write about, how men can say “sex”, what it’s like to be writing memoir as a man, the value of writing groups, telling the truth, and our biggest challenge as writers.

If you’re a writer who shares pieces of their personal life on the page, if you’re curious about what it’s like to do so, or if you’re a reader of memoir, we think you’ll get a lot out of this conversation.

Following the interview are links to some of our writing, some other writers of memoir on Substack, further reading on memoir, and some questions for you
— we’d love to hear from you! Use the ♡ and comments below 👇🏻

Bowen and Lyle on Men Writing Memoir

Listen to the audio right here on Substack or watch us on YouTube above. We haven’t included a transcript because it’s so darn long, but if you’d like to read this instead of listen, just ask in the comments below ⬇️

⭐️⭐️ THANK YOU FOR LISTENING⭐️⭐️

Lyle and his daughter Em
Bowen wing-foiling on San Francisco Bay (photo credit: Ben Anderson)

Please SUBSCRIBE for more of our writing

Bowen writes memoir and personal essay on topics including alcohol, addiction and depression… adventure, fitness, sports, and nature… identity, masculinity, fatherhood and being child-free, advertising, entrepreneurship, and conferences… creativity, intuition, archetypes, consciousness, symbols, and youth… San Francisco, California, travel… love, relationships and sex, among other things. If you’re not already a subscriber to Bowen’s substack, please do take this opportunity to subscribe now.

Subscribe to Bowen's Substack

Lyle writes about his own life as a father to a daughter with cerebral palsy, questions such as How do I define success? and What is normal, anyway?, breaking up with his therapist, his previous life in music, as well as home projects, divorce, time, dogs, exercise, FOMO, living in the suburbs, context switching, travel, not caring so much, small talk, and even couches, among other things. If you’re not already a reader and subscriber of Lyle’s work, please take this opportunity to subscribe now.

Subscribe to Lyle's Substack

Further Reading

Here are two of the more popular pieces we’ve written on Substack:

Just Enough to Get Me in Trouble
HOW TO WRITE BETTER STORIES IN 4 EASY STEPS
I’ve spent the better part of the past year writing and publishing this newsletter. Over that time, a lot of people have asked me how I do it. They ask questions such as, “How do you consistently write about such vulnerable, personal topics?” or, “What do your writing habits look like?” I thought I’d spend time answering everyone…
Read more
4 years ago · 167 likes · 65 comments · Lyle McKeany
DECIDE NOTHING
The Truth About Love—how what we know as "love" often leaves out the truth, and how men can bring more truth to love
Early in my own life, what I felt most missing was the truth. Not some objective truth, but the simple truth of sharing and reflecting one’s experience in the world. My parents kept telling me that what they were saying was important while avoiding much of anything that actually felt meaningful. A lot of what they said just didn’t sound true, not becaus…
Read more
3 years ago · 10 likes · 11 comments · Bowen Dwelle

Other Writers of Memoir on Substack

Michael Mohr's Sincere American Writing

The Recovering Academic
by Joshua Doležal
Men, Myself, & I: Revelations of an Opened Marriage
by Minda Lane
Deep Fix
by Alex Olshonsky
A Memoir Worth Writing
by Euwyn Goh
Living the In-Between Times
by Marika Páez Wiesen
visa's voltaic verses ⚡️
by visakan veerasamy
Cured: The Memoir by Sarah Fay
Practice Space
by Andrei Șișman
DID YOU SLEEP WITH THE MODELS? by SAM STAGGS

Inner Workings
by Rae Katz
The Loaf, with Tim Kreider

Writing on Memoir and… Writing

The Art of Memoir — Karr, Mary
Method Writing: The First Four Concepts — Grapes, Jack
On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft — King, Stephen
Body Work: The Radical Power of Personal Narrative — Febos, Melissa
The Memoir Project — Smith, Marion Roach
The War of Art: Winning the Inner Creative Battle — Pressfield, Steven
Sexus (The Rosy Crucifixion, #1) — Miller, Henry
Belonging: Remembering Ourselves Home — Toko-pa Turner

We’ve got some questions for you

  1. If you’re a writer (or reader) of memoir or personal essay, what brought you to that genre of writing?

  2. Who are some of your favorite writers of memoir and other personal writing on Substack?

  3. What are the biggest pros and cons of Substack for you?

  4. Did you invest in Substack? Why or why not?

  5. What’s a favorite story from your own life—especially one that you’re a little bit afraid to tell?

Was this worth your time?
Use the heart ♡ below to let us know

👇🏻

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An Ordinary Disaster
An Ordinary Disaster
"Writing yourself into existence" with Lyle McKeany
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A guest post by
Lyle McKeany
Writer and creative coach hanging out at the intersection between the stories we tell others and the stories we tell ourselves.
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